As I stepped out onto the Abbott Hospital parking ramp on Tuesday afternoon, I let out a deep, cleansing breath. I could feel that breath through my lungs, into my very soul. I hadn't even realized that I had been holding my breath for the past four weeks, but it turns out I had been. I'd been holding my breath. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting. After the hustle and bustle of the last seven months, the past couple of quiet weeks have had me holding my breath, and not even knowing it.
I had an afternoon of appointments on Tuesday, so, after seeing Brendan off to school and giving my in-laws a quick hug (for watching my children...again) I headed to the cities. I stopped by my grandparents' old house first, loading up the van with our last few belongings from the summer, giving my Aunt Liz and Uncle Larry huge, thankful hugs, and bidding North Avon a melancholy good-bye, as the house is going on the market next week. I ran an errand and made it to my appointment with my plastic surgeon just on time. I had my final fill and bid Dr. Schaefer good-bye for the next two months.
My big appointment of the day was with Dr. Cheryl Bailey. Did I tell you how we met?
In early August, Brad, the kids and I went for a short walk one sunny afternoon. As we were returning home, we passed a small group of women, chatting on the lawn, a few houses down from my grandparents'. As we walked by, the woman on a bike spoke to me, asking if we were new to the neighborhood (we got that a lot this summer!) I smiled and told the women that we were only here for the summer, as I received radiation. The woman on the bike's head shot up and she exclaimed that she had wondered if I was a "fellow woman in arms." Misunderstanding, I asked her if she had had breast cancer. Nope, turns out she is a Gynecological Oncologist. I laughed and told her I was headed that way next, as one of my next treatments would be an oophorectomy. Dr. Neighbor (Dr. Cheryl Bailey) asked if I was receiving treatment at the U. I told her I was a patient at the Virginia Piper Breast Center at Abbott. She was delighted, saying that it was a wonderful facility. She asked where my Oncologist was from, and I replied that I was a patient of Dr. Zander, from Minnesota Oncology. She looked a little startled, then laughed and said she wouldn't be surprised if we'd passed each other in the halls, as she also works at Minnesota Oncology.
Small world.
She told me to look her up when I was ready for that next step. We all exchanged good-byes, and I walked away with goose-bumps. Talk about coincidences, huh? So, of course, I headed right home and Googled her, only to find out that she is indeed a fantastic surgeon. Double goosebumps.
When I told Jane (my Oncologist's nurse) about her, she smiled at me and slowly shook her head, saying that Dr. Bailey was a wonderful doctor, and in fact Jane had even sent her daughter to Dr. Bailey, but that she was usually scheduled out for months and very hard to get to see. But Jane went and talked to Dr. Bailey, who remembered me, and added me to her service, squeezing me into a non-appointment time. Amazing, huh?
Anyway, I met with Dr. Bailey, who I absolutely LOVE. She met with me for over an hour, giving me the information I needed, speaking to me as a well-researched patient, and making me laugh and feel completely comfortable. At one point, as we were discussing the timing of the oopherectomy, both Dr. Zander and Dr. Bailey were in the room conferencing with me, and I just looked back and forth at these two amazing doctors and felt so incredibly blessed to have them on my side. I am so unbelievably lucky.
Okay, enough of the long-winded stuff...down to the nitty gritty info:
We decided that we are waiting to do the inserts (with my plastic surgeon) and the oophorectomy (with Dr. Bailey) at the same time. We chose this to maximize my healing time (from radiation, chemo, and my past surgery) and to let me enjoy some good health downtime with my family. So, I will continue to take my current hormone therapy until the surgeries at the end of February/beginning of March, and then we'll switch to the aromatase inhibitor (which is slightly more powerful.)
I made Dr. Zander sit down and look me in the eye and tell me how concerned I needed to be regarding the future, wanting to make sure that I completely understand my personal cancer situation (I don't want to mentally blow my situation up and I don't want to blow it off either..I figured his words would help ground me.) He reiterated that I'm doing well. I have a 50% chance of recurrence in the next five to ten years, but even then, there are plenty of things for us to do to fight against it. The oophorectomy will tell us if any of my original breast cancer has spread to my ovaries. The most important thing to remember is that all of this will either happen...or it won't. So I won't spend my time worrying about it (well...maybe on the nights before my scans I'll be worrying about it...but other than that, I'll try not to!)
I've started taking better care of myself...trying to get to bed earlier and establishing a more set exercise time. I've taken up running...well...it's not really running...more like really fast shuffling. I am not a cute runner. My body isn't made for running. Popping out babies and hard labor? Yes. Effortlessly gliding through miles of terrain? Nope. Not at all. I look like an intoxicated granny (absolutely no offense to any intoxicated grannies out there!) So, if you see me shuffling along each morning, give me a wave of sympathy. I don't mind. Although, I probably won't see you, because I have to watch my feet...or else I fall on my face!
The Future:
Looks Beautiful!
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