Oncology

As with all major life events, you look back and marvel at how quickly your life can change.  I can't believe that a little over a week ago, it was just another normal evening of putting the kids to bed, cleaning up, and spending time with Brad...and little did I know that our lives would be changing drastically.   I appoligize for letting everyone know our news and then disappearing for days.  The last 36 hours have been especially C-R-A-Z-Y, from the results we've gotten, to the emotions we've been going through, to all of the information we're trying to process.

What We Know:
On Wednesday at 11:30am, I recieved a call from my surgeon with the results from my axillary node biopsy.  The cancer has spread to my lymph nodes.  That, in addition to the large size of my tumor, means that we will be doing chemotherapy before surgery, in an attempt to shrink the tumor (to make it more managable) and stop the cancer from spreading.  Our first priority then became to get me to an Oncologist to get this process started.   I had a personal referral from Sandy, whom my dad works with, for a Dr. Paul Zander with Minnesota Oncology, which is right across the street from where I'm currently doctoring.  Calls were made, and he was booked out for quite awhile, but was able to squeak me in at 7am the next morning (Thursday.)  We grabbed that appointment with both hands, knowing we would do whatever we had to, to make it work. 

After hearing all of the news, Brad came home from work, we packed up the car (with Brad's dad watching the kids for us,) and headed to the cities.  My Crea aunts and uncles made the stunning offer of letting us use my grandparents house (which they're currently at the tail end of remodeling in an attempt to sell this spring) for as long as we need it, giving us a location in the cities that we can centralize the kids at for the time being.  I can't even begin to tell them what that means to us.  After the worst car ride of my life, we arrived in Roseville at about 7pm, had supper (thanks, Jill!), put the kids to bed, talked with my parents (who are graciously watching the kids for us) and fell, exhausted, into bed. 

Thursday morning Brad and I were up at 5:30am, and we headed to the Oncologist.  We met Dr. Zander's nurse, Jane, and Dr. Zander himself, reviewed some basic oncology information and discussed my case.  My Her-2/neu analysis came back as negative (which is good!...it indicates that my cancer isn't incredibly aggressive!  Good news of the day!) and the next steps are a MUGA (which is a scan to determine the strength of my heart muscles, which can affect the chemotherapy regime) and a PET scan (which will scan my body from neck to knee, to determine if the cancer has spread systemically in my body), both of which are scheduled for tomorrow.  Brad and I will also be attending a Chemo class, as I am now scheduled to start my first round of chemotherapy on Wednesday, barring the results of the PET scan.

How I'm Doing:
I'm determined to stay as positive as possible, and to fight this on as many levels as I can.  God will get us through this, and I'm attempting to do my part, by keeping my mind and heart uplifted and by taking care of my body. I mentioned that the car ride to the cities was awful, and that's because, with nothing to do, my mind started to wander to the scariest of places.  Brad, who had been having an awful time earlier in the day, talked me through it, and brought me back to smiling and laughing.  I just want everyone to know how incredible this man I married is.  I absolutely cannot imagine being the support person in something like this.  While he has been having a terrible time processing this diagnosis, he has pulled me through every dark moment and helped me focus on the positive outcome we are determined to have.  He is my rock, and I cannot imagine going through this without him.  Extra-special prayers for him, please!

My Family:
The kids are being amazing.  Emily has been flawless in her transfer from nursing to bottle-fed, and keeps our hearts light with her infectious laughter.  Megan is my princess (seriously, I can't get her out of her dress-up outfits!) who is quick to help, and always ready for a snuggle.  Brendan has been leading the way by taking this in stride (which has kept his sisters calm) all-the-while understanding everything on a level that's far beyond his years.  I am beyond blessed.

The Future:
Looks beautiful.