My Consultation And A Few Answers

What We Know:  

I had my consultation on Monday afternoon (1-28-13) at the Piper Breast Center in Minneapolis.  The consultation consisted of A LOT of information and not many answers (which is what we had been expecting.)  Dr. Johnson reported that their second opinion (based on my original ultrasound and biopsies) was consistent with the original findings.  Bummer. :)  

She did a physical exam of the area and was concerned because she felt that the mass was larger than the diagnosed size of 2 cm, and I appeared to have enlarged lymph glands deep in my armpit (which mean that they're working...which could mean the cancer has spread (Booo!) or something as simple as my body is fighting off an infection or reacting to the biopsies (Yes!  We choose that one!.))  I was asked to wean nursing over this next week, and we tried to get in for a mammogram, but it was the end of the day and they were booked, so she requested that we have a mammogram, a second ultrasound of the breast, an ultrasound of the auxiliary nodes (under the armpit), a node biopsy, and a meeting with the genetics counselor the next day.   So, although we weren't expecting it, we ended up staying overnight. 

Due to our heads and hearts swimming with all of the information we had, we decided to spend the night at the local Hope Lodge, which is a free local lodging for cancer patients and their caregivers.  I could write a whole other entry on the Hope Lodge (and probably will at some point), but let me just say that it was amazing.  It felt like a combination of a dorm facility (which isn't surprising, as it’s on the U of M campus) and a hotel.  We had the privilege of being at the lodge on the every-other Monday that the local Lutheran church puts on an Italian pot luck, which was wonderful, because neither Brad or I felt like eating, but we went down to be part of the event and ended up eating a nice meal, which was strengthening.  

Brad and I spent the evening (after calling and saying good-night to the kids *tears*) playing ping-pong (and reminiscing about our college days at 1013 4th Street and listening to ping pong in the basement…and Jim slamming his paddle on the ducts), checking out the library (okay, okay…that was mostly me) and playing cribbage.  Neither of us slept very well (despite the wonderful room and sleep number beds, and despite the fact that I can typically fall asleep in no longer than two minutes after my head hits the pillow…or in a jeep, bumping along the roads in Africa!) but we woke up determined to do good things with this new day.

The bad news of the day, based on my mammogram, was a report that the lump was actually 6 cm instead of 2 cm, putting me at a stage III instead of stage II. (Insert some body shaking and tears here, but we had each other, and we got over it.)  Besides kicking me into a higher stage, it also means that I will most likely have to undergo a series of chemotherapy before we do surgery, in an attempt to shrink the tumor to a more manageable size  and slow down or stop any spreading the cancer is doing.  

The good news of the day was that my right breast and lymph nodes appear completely normal.  Hooray!

We did an ultrasound of the lymph nodes under my left arm and they appeared swollen, so we did three biopsies of one of the nodes to check if the cancer has spread.  Results will come in tomorrow afternoon.  We decided not to do an additional ultrasound, as we learned all of the info we needed on the mammogram.  

Brad and I then headed to our genetics appointment where we got our heads filled with family trees, lifetime percentages, and all of the different gene testing that is available to us.  (I’m thankful for my Genetics class in college, which really helped me understand what they were talking about, so it wasn't too overwhelming, and was actually quite interesting.)

After this very full day, Brad and I couldn't wait to get home.  There's nothing like hugging your children after a day like this.

Where We Go From Here:

Wednesday afternoon I should be finding out the results of my node biopsy to determine if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes, which will determine if I need to have chemo now or not.  We will also be scheduling appointments with the oncologist, my surgeon, and getting a blood draw for the genetic testing.  We foresee lots of traveling to the cities in our future!

My Family:

We talked a little about my diagnosis with Brendan tonight.  Actually, the kiddo pretty much knew everything already from bits and pieces he'd overheard.  He amazed me with his understanding and compassion.  I hadn't been sure what to expect, as he gets scared about things sometimes, but he handled talking about it like a 10-year old would.  Megan just wanted to see and kiss my "owie" from the biopsy (several times, in fact) so we didn't go into it much with her tonight, and instead focused on enjoying our time with them before bedtime.  Thank you so much to Gene and Mary (Brad's parents) who watched the kids for us and adapted so easily to us having to stay overnight.

A Huge Thank-You:

There is absolutely no way we can express how much the overwhelming support, well-wishes, and prayers mean to us.  The gifts and meals we've received, the watching of our children, and the endless prayers are absolutely humbling, and bring us both to tears faster than anything we've encountered.  I keep saying to Brad that there's no way we can fully repay people for their kindnesses, to which Brad replies that we will focus on paying it forward.  And we won't forget that!  One of the hardest tasks I have coming is learning to accept help when we need it, and I'm working hard at it, because this is a long, hard road we're headed down.  You may get tired of me saying this, but we love each and every one of you, and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

The Future:

Looks beautiful.

Hanging out in my robe, after my mammogram and before we got the results. 

The Piper Breast Center is known for it's robes and serving coffee and tea in fancy teacups (you know, as well as being known for their work with breast cancer!)  Above, Brad was enjoying a spot of coffee from his fancy teacup (complete with extended pinkie finger!) 

Brad and I played cribbage for part of the evening at the Hope Lodge.